Sweet memory

Written 08.23.2008, based on true events.

There was an apple tree in the backyard, and I watched
from its shadows
as you dove beneath its fruit and leaves
to appear beside me in this world I discovered,
and you helped me name it Apple Tree.

And the sun was setting as we climbed and you led the way laughing
as your toes held the trunk
like children cling to their father when he leaves on a business trip.

I climbed after you, imagining myself a cat and
I gripped the branches with my claws until I found one to sit upon.

And then we were ourselves again, sitting together on
the widespread arms of Apple Tree, watching our feet dangle in
the gathering dusk.

You kissed me, and I laughed because
we were sitting in a tree, kissing.

And that night I dreamt of apples, red as sunset,
and kisses that were sweeter than the apples.

I found your problem, ma’am

Written 11.09.2008 It’s about me. And something I discovered about myself. I don’t like it.

 

It was me all along.
You see right here?  This obstruction?

It’s me.

I’m the problem,
I’m in the way,
I’d like to say
I meant it all for good
but
I’m rather afraid
to look at my motives
I think I wanted glory.

Just for me
saving the day
coming in on a thunderbolt
when all hope was lost and bam!
Everything’s better and everyone’s
in awe of me.

I didn’t even stop to ask
my Father for advice
or whether it was my responsibility
in the first place.

I almost missed the problem until
my associate double checked
my work here, a second set of eyes are so useful,
Don’t you think?

And now I see the problem
and I can remove the obstruction
it’ll just take a minute.
Glad I could help, please call our
company if you ever need
this kind of help again.

 

 

 

or not.

Jamelyn

Written 10.4.2008  This one has been a long time coming, and is for my friend. I promised her a poem but I waited for the words to come. I hope she likes it.

 

She is sweet, like that lemonade we made one summer,
with the lemons we bought
on the side of the road
in a brown paper bag: impossibly yellow and
as sweet as this girl,
and that’s what she makes me think of when she smiles.
Summertime and lemons that surprise
with their sweetness
and brightness and flash and color
filling up a room, earnest and untainted.

They Are

Written 10.4.2008 As i sat in the living room, watching my friend across the room with her boyfriend.

He holds her high off the ground
safe, in his lap and
she laughs and shrieks
and covers her face –
a piercingly beautiful moment
like a glowing window made of stained glass. Until
thunder strikes and
the beauty is broken, shattered
in a thousand glittering bits
that will slice your fingers if you try
to repair it –
Ah, well.
Some things aren’t
meant to be.

Celeste

Written 9.15.2008 I  was just writing what came to mind, and a few times my pen did what it wanted. This is the finished product.

stars all about:
White dwarves, red giants,
supernova
nebula – –
nebulae.
Crabs and horseheads and
Kings, of men and of dragons.
Punished Ethiopian empresses
and perfect twins, maidens.
And bulls and scorpions and lions –
Any god a man could wish:
dancing and laughing just out of reach,
glimmering beyond fingertip’s end-
maddening in their inspiration of awe:
always other, untouchable.

Pity the mortals, my love,
look down from your lofty perch.
See their temporary lives,
their fleeting despairs and
joys like lightning’s breath;
give your pity.  Break what would be
your heart,
were you human, my love.

Do You Ever Wonder

Written 9.5.2008 sometimes I need to vent some feelings.

 

Who
   is this person I have become,
   can’t be alone anymore,
   needs people,
   needs you?
 What
   is happening inside me?
   is happening inside you?
   is this thing between us?
   incomparable feelings you create. . .
 Where
   is my heart? It’s not
   it used to be. You are
   I belong and you are
   I want to be, always.
 When
   can I let go?
   will I stay with you instead of walking away
   night falls?
   will I see you again?
 Why
   can’t I think about anyone else?
   must I walk away?
   are you so vital to my life and,
   do I believe everything you say?
 How
   am I supposed to breathe when you kiss me?
   can I think when you touch me?
   am I supposed to live when I don’t know
   to cure this ache that torments me?

No

don’t tell me to go
please
don’t send me away
oh please
can’t i make you realize?
It’s not my choice:
my arms won’t let you go
my fingers are tangled in your hair
and nothing else in the world is more important
than staying right here right now
and I can’t understand
these words coming from your mouth
telling me it’s time

What is this thing TIME
and why does it command me?

Distance Sucks

Written 6/17/2008  It’s for Jenny. She’s vacationing in Europe. The rest is self-explanatory.

 

I saw you were online and
my pulse sped up,
I could feel my blood pressure rise
and I breathed faster.

I was excited that maybe I
could contact you
in real time,
and I could pretend that
you were close and I
could hear your voice.

I hoped that
maybe I would miss you less
if we spoke.
It didn’t work –
typing to you only
exagerated the distance
and made me miss you more
like
bumping a sprained wrist:
you think the pain is
controllable until
you move and then
you are dropped to the ground.

It was nice to speak, though.
Te amo, hermana. Te amo.

Obedient

Written 6/9/2008  I was driving, and Jesus asked me to write him a poem. 

 

I wanted to find you
so I searched
going out into the world
and walking to and fro in it
but I did not find you
out there
and I wanted to find you.

I turned my eyes inward
that I might search myself
and I walked through my mind
thither and yon
I strode across my mind
but I did not find you
in there
and I wanted to find you

I turned myself inward
and looked again
inside my heart, my soul
I tiptoed across the dark places
that were most secret
and there is where I found you
in that space between
one heartbeat and the next
waiting for me.

Dependent

written 6/2/2008 as I sat here. I’ve had the phrase “the sunflower child” in my head for some time, but I haven’t been able to make anything of it until now.  Sunflowers are my favorite flower.

 

the sunflower child
plays and smiles in the light
and squints her eyes that she may see
the sun that she adores
and her face is always turned
to follow his path across the sky.

The sunflower child blooms
bright and lovely
her face honest and simple
and she smiles their secret smile
as she watches the sun
dance his path across the sky.

The sunflower child has laughed and skipped
in the rays all summer long
and he has laughed back
at her antics
and they gaze lovingly into each other’s face
and the sun did not blink once
as he trod his path across the sky.

The sunflower child steps slow and quiet
and her face does not shine
because the winds have changed
and the clouds have come
and the sun can not be seen
to smile down his love on her
as he trudges his path across the sky.

The sunflower child fades and falls
and her smile is hidden away
because her love is hidden, too
and the rains are cold to play in
and she shrinks more every day
and does not try to see the sun
as he rushes in his path across the sky.

The sunflower child was not there
when the sun appeared finally
a respite from the rains
he was ready to see her love
and ready to love back
but she was gone
and no matter how the sun looked,
he could not find her
so he walked his lonely path across the sky.

The sunflower child lies in the earth
and the sun understands, now
and he does not smile
at the world and
he does not try to shine through the clouds
because he shone for her
and she is gone
and he walks his weary path across the sky.

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