Distance Sucks

Written 6/17/2008  It’s for Jenny. She’s vacationing in Europe. The rest is self-explanatory.

 

I saw you were online and
my pulse sped up,
I could feel my blood pressure rise
and I breathed faster.

I was excited that maybe I
could contact you
in real time,
and I could pretend that
you were close and I
could hear your voice.

I hoped that
maybe I would miss you less
if we spoke.
It didn’t work –
typing to you only
exagerated the distance
and made me miss you more
like
bumping a sprained wrist:
you think the pain is
controllable until
you move and then
you are dropped to the ground.

It was nice to speak, though.
Te amo, hermana. Te amo.

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Obedient

Written 6/9/2008  I was driving, and Jesus asked me to write him a poem. 

 

I wanted to find you
so I searched
going out into the world
and walking to and fro in it
but I did not find you
out there
and I wanted to find you.

I turned my eyes inward
that I might search myself
and I walked through my mind
thither and yon
I strode across my mind
but I did not find you
in there
and I wanted to find you

I turned myself inward
and looked again
inside my heart, my soul
I tiptoed across the dark places
that were most secret
and there is where I found you
in that space between
one heartbeat and the next
waiting for me.

Dependent

written 6/2/2008 as I sat here. I’ve had the phrase “the sunflower child” in my head for some time, but I haven’t been able to make anything of it until now.  Sunflowers are my favorite flower.

 

the sunflower child
plays and smiles in the light
and squints her eyes that she may see
the sun that she adores
and her face is always turned
to follow his path across the sky.

The sunflower child blooms
bright and lovely
her face honest and simple
and she smiles their secret smile
as she watches the sun
dance his path across the sky.

The sunflower child has laughed and skipped
in the rays all summer long
and he has laughed back
at her antics
and they gaze lovingly into each other’s face
and the sun did not blink once
as he trod his path across the sky.

The sunflower child steps slow and quiet
and her face does not shine
because the winds have changed
and the clouds have come
and the sun can not be seen
to smile down his love on her
as he trudges his path across the sky.

The sunflower child fades and falls
and her smile is hidden away
because her love is hidden, too
and the rains are cold to play in
and she shrinks more every day
and does not try to see the sun
as he rushes in his path across the sky.

The sunflower child was not there
when the sun appeared finally
a respite from the rains
he was ready to see her love
and ready to love back
but she was gone
and no matter how the sun looked,
he could not find her
so he walked his lonely path across the sky.

The sunflower child lies in the earth
and the sun understands, now
and he does not smile
at the world and
he does not try to shine through the clouds
because he shone for her
and she is gone
and he walks his weary path across the sky.